you know, I told my friends that they should level up their games. If they get turned down, it's not a big deal. Acting like im a love/dating expert or some shit. Tell them to build up the "f*ck that b*tch" mindset, but they don't actually know that I don't like admitting that I've been hurt or feeling like a dumbass when I get rejected. I know, you might say that I'm writing this just to get over a person or try to win her heart or wtf ever....
You know, sometimes I'm just afraid to text a girl or contact her or whatever just because I'm just afraid of being ignored and shit like that, so that's why I save myself from getting ignored and sit back thinking about wtf did I do wrong or why did I just do/say that. I mean if I like this girl and I'm trying to talk but then get i ignored, It tells me that okay okay the person that I'm trying to talk with doesn't care about me, doesn't really want to talk to me, and that shit makes me questioning wtf is life? look, when I text somebody and they text back like 20-30 hours later even though I know she is not busy, I talk to myself like I'm not even on her mind so what's the f*cking point. I know a lot of guys don't like to admit it, but deep inside they're all be like: *shot triggered straight to the heart* yo, that shit f*cking hurts. I can sometimes tell myself that eh, that's just a random girl I've just met and there's millions other girls in the world, but when it's actually somebody that you think you're falling for, and you both really have talked for sometime now, then you're getting rejected or ignored, that shit is weak... damn bruh... damn... goddamn...
And now, I admit it. It hurts. And I'm not coming like a p*ssy and start crying and shit. I mean if you're talking to me, and now I'm having you on my mind, because I now focus on you and you and yes, you. and you know that I just write wtf comes to my mind right now, and that's some real shit. I know I've tried to do anything, literally, anything not to fall into that hole that will take probably a good 1 or 2 years to climb back up.
And in my case climbing up is not the point. I'll be like: yo, what did I do wrong? Why would I ever tell her that? that's not even cool I'm so lost. and that feel would probably turn me into that mindset. But it's not EASY! Sometimes I really just want that person that I could just focus on and be all about her, experience all the feels and stuff like that. And I know this thing might sound kinda cheesy, because I hate when a man saying all this shit out and got hurt. Imma be like: this f*cking p*ssy is not a real man. But now I might just have become one. I mean when you like somebody, that shit is the best experience ever! talking to her, and every time I do have that feel, it's so amazing. I dream of the things I would do for her, do with her.
Sometimes, at first that thing goes right then it starts falling down hill. and you know what? why? why do I even try, Why do i even look for shit like that? But this probably the end of this post now. if you made it here at the end, it's cool. I appreciate that. smile emoticon This post might make no sense but thanks for reading.